Let’s have a mind and raise flowers.

True Love Quiz by Sex Therapist Ryan McGivern

Directions: As a couple, get a little drunk or baked and light some candles and eat a whole bunch of cheesy-garlic bread and then ask these questions.

Question #1: Place something inside your partner. Ask them: “Yeah, you like that?”
Question #2: Ween your partner off their prescribed depression medication and then ask: “You dropped out of your graduate program. Does that make you feel like a failure?”
Question #3: “If I, like Kafka’s Metamorphosis, was to become a giant bug, what would you do?”

Now, determine whether to buy a ring, or serve ‘em their walkin’ papers!
Answer Key:
#1) any answer other than a high pitched giggle lasting the entire commercial break during an episode of “Lost” means- Love Went Down In The Pacific. Dump.
#2) of course they dropped out of Grad School-it was you who turned them onto
Meth. Dump.
#3) Any answer not containing references to “the futility of life”, or “the
dehumanization of modern technocratic society” means: “Dump me.”

I hope that you and your lover(s) have found the key to happiness by taking my True Love Quiz.

Ryan McGivern
Sex Therapist/Spiritual Director