1. [masculinity] Boning down preference: Archie or Jughead?
  2. [sugarcoated psychology] What candy do you most relate to:
    (a) Goobers, (b) Nerds, (c) Airheads, (e) Impotent Sticks
  3. [Budweiser frogs] Less filling or tastes great?
  4. [penis envy] Have you seen the bulge on Zac Efron?
  5. [productivity] Should children be taken out of failing schools and put to work in miniature factories?
  6. [rave chic] When you throw up 62 ounces of water, a tab of LSD and a half dose of ‘E’ on your rave friend “GlitterBot” do you say you’re sorry or pretend to pass out to save face?
  7. [things that make your pants tight] Watching anything with Milla Jovovich in it or eating nothing but Doritos and playing World of Warcraft for 3 days?