I’m jet-hopping over to a Reno, Nevada casino tomorrow for a training about working in Native American communities. In preparation of losing my mind amongst the greed, addictions, unnatural blinking neon light epileptic seizures, cigarette smoke hotbox, midlife crises, empty glares, the bling bling and the cha-ching, I did some background reading on the second weirdest state in the union (after Utah’s Mormon absurdimania).
The Mayor of Las Vegas, Oscar Goodman, is among the most loveably boisterous politicians in America. Wikipedia reports: “On March 3, 2005, Goodman was speaking before a group of fourth-graders at Jo Mackey Elementary School. When asked what he would bring if marooned on a desert island, the mayor replied ‘a showgirl and a bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin’. Further, when asked about his hobbies, the mayor named drinking Bombay Sapphire Gin as a favorite. Later, asked to comment, Goodman was unapologetic. ‘I’m the George Washington of mayors. I can’t tell a lie. If they didn’t want the answer the kid shouldn’t have asked the question,’ Goodman said.”
As a surprising number mindflower readers have written me that they are exploring potential careers in the prostitution field, let me be the breathless one to tell you Nevada is the place to be! However, there are regulatory caveats — unfortunately, pimping is not tolerated, and while the sex trade is legal in Nevada, it is not permitted in counties with populations of more than 400,000, which knocks Reno and Las Vegas off their high horses of another color. If you are horny and lonely in Vegas, a viable option is to take a cab twenty miles to Pahrump County, where you have a choice between Sheri’s Ranch or Chicken Ranch brothels. After wandering inside one of said brothels and choosing your meat from a lineup of women, you play lets make a deal; ask yourself, how much is sex with this person worth to you? Negotiations begin at $200 and the typical suck and fuck costs between $400 and $500, depending on the brothel’s proximity to Vegas or Reno, and on your subjective opinion of the “attractiveness” of the whore. Condom use is mandatory and actually has provided competent protection to the prostitutes who are tested for STDs every two months. Since 1986 there have been zero reported cases of HIV among the women.
