The Holidays are always a stressful time of year. Especially in prison.
There’s the fighting the long lines at Snake’s cell just to buy a half cigarette, the worry of paying back Loko for the loan of smuggled pornography, and deciding how to decorate your cell festively, while still respecting your cellmate’s Satanism.
It can also be stressful being the loved one “on the outside” who has to come up with the perfect Christmas gift that says:
“Merry Christmas” and “No, I’m not cheating on you with your friends Dave and Carl.”
Here are some ideas to make your shopping for the Prisoner in your life a little easier:
1. Are they on Death Row? How about a gift certificate to Denny’s for a
“Last Meal Grand Slam”?
2. Nothing says, “5 to 10 isn’t that long to wait to see you again” like a pair of socks.
3. Christmas is the perfect time to lie about “losing our baby”.
4. Uhhh, Duh! Can you say iPhone?
5. A one sentence synopsis of all the best movies released in the past 12 years:
“Yet another Steve Guttenberg classic.”
So there’s some wonderful Christmas shopping ideas for those loved ones in prison.
As soon as there’s a Jewish person in jail, I’ll write about Hanukkah gift ideas.
Ryan McGivern
JamesHumphries: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3IGjff1THk
Burch9: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwNtY7ogr10&feature=related
Joxter3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ts9wtb3RZ4g&feature=related
