If you want to see some bad coffee orderers, go to the mid-west. They’re not accustomed to it yet. They always had Lutheran church ‘coffee hour’ after services and the most thought they had to put into getting a cup was how to avoid the choir director’s
creepy husband.
They haven’t learnt the Art of Ordering Coffee.
Go to Seattle. My God, Seattle is to coffee what Salt Lake City is not to coffee.
San Francisco, same thing. People have their exact change ready. They’ve got the tip out and they’re saying the fake ‘Good morning’ so well they don’t even need to move their lips.
Tip #1: When ordering a coffee, don’t ask which brew your barista likes better. Don’t make them think! They’re not paid enough. Plus, they’re really really stoned right now.
Tip #2: When using two sugar packs, tear and pour both of them at the same time. Don’t create a Ford assembly line process to tear the equivalent of four sheets of paper. Jerk.
Tip #3: Leaving room for cream gives you less bang for your buck. Pour unwanted coffee out as a tribute to your fallen homies.
Ryan McGivern
www.myspace.com/mckibbon
