A recent study has found my 11 year old cousin Paul gets a boost from coverage in the news media that shows support for me letting him up off the ground.
Two Harvard University economists found that my weak-kneed and asthmatic cousin Paul is responsive to “anti-bullying-resolve” statements in the media.
“The study shows that Paul does respond to anti-bullying media coverage and shows that a successful bullying strategy should take that reality into account,” Jon Smart, a co-author of the study and a postdoctoral fellow at Harvard’s Center for Science and International Affairs, told US News and World Report.
My cousin Paul’s struggling against my titty twisters increased between 7 and 10 percent immediately after a spike in “anti-bullying-resolve” statements in the media, according to the findings.
The study was published by the National Bureau of Economic Research. My Aunt Linda was excluded from the study and the study did not review overall wedgie-to-scrotal-pressure-ratio or account for child abuse laws.
“The wedgie-to-scrotal-pressure-ratio is high!” said my cousin Paul.
Ryan McGivern
