Dearest Senator Obama:
Good morning, my friend.
I hope that you are well this morning.
Thanks for emailing me those ‘liver cleanse’ recipes.
Man! That stuff really works. I’m drinking nothing BUT olive oil now.
Let’s turn to the economy for a second.
I’ve been told its bad.
Because the economy is bad, I hereby frickin’ DARE you to stop your campaign like me.
Just stop it. In fact, if you don’t pack up your bumper stickers and catchy websites (that I’ve been
told are accessible on The Interweb) it just shows how little you care for this country.
I care so much about this election I’ve dedicated myself to removing myself from it.
Now to the debate scheduled for tomorrow: Let’s call it a tie.
P.S. Did you see that David Blaine stunt? That guys crazy!
P.P.S. Let’s call off the VP debates too. Sarah…has a headache….I mean, tapeworm.
Yup. Them’s the breaks. Got a tapeworm. And….she’ll be hard at work on the economy.
And checking her stool regularly for evidence of a tapeworms. Which she does have.
P.P.P.S. Why don’t you ever return my Facebook pokes?

Yours truly,
American Hero John McCain