Three years ago my amazing friend Lori moved her mind and body to San Francisco where she had relations with two consecutive dog breeders that she met on crazyblinddate.com. While the breeder hunks are around no more, Lori became compulsively obsessed with poodle grooming and her poodle grooming skills were and are undeniable.
Last February, with over 1000 logged hours of grooming, Lori was invited to join the prestigious Professional Poodle Groomer’s Guild and this year she has won Top PooDog in three of the four professional competitions on the West Coast, including the prestigious Sunset Boulevard Poodles and Noodles Smackdown! Let’s all wish her luck at Nationals on New Years Eve in Truth and Consequences, NM, the proud Poodle Capital of America! Concurrently on New Years Eve, Mindflowers will be holding a sceance in Lori’s honor at the back of the Pigglywiggly in Cottondale, AL. Be there or make us sad.
Peacock poodle
Teenage Mutant Ninja Poodle
Lori on the cover of Groomer Magazine and on top of the world!!!
Camel poodle. I'd love to hump that bitch!
For more of Lori’s oeuvre, click here.
December 22, 2008 at 7:34 pm
I’ve bred a lot of dogs in my day.
Let me name a few:
My aunt’s collie with her neighbor’s black lab, my aunt’s collie with a poodle, my aunt’s collie with a cat, the list goes on.
Not only that, but I’ve groomed a lot too.
Not dogs per se, but myself. And I’ve got a pretty thick coat so its pretty similar I’m sure.
So I know what I’m talking about when I say that Lori Byrum knows what’s what. She is like a taller Dr. Doolittle. She’s like a more magical Noah, the way that animals are willing to get into small wooden boxes around her. Its amazing.
If I were to become a farmer, I would outsource my farming to her.
Seriously. I’ve seen coyotes leave a elk carcass just to come up to her feet and tie her shoes. With their paws and tongues.
You can count me in on whatever demonic ceremony you’ve got planned in Cottondale!
Sam Hynes