NEW YORK (Mindflowers)– A giant Crestacean-like cretin named George W. Bush caught the attention of onlookers recently at a New York seafood restaurant  and will be returned this month to its Texas ranch cesspool, according to a statement from the People’s Foundation for Inhuman Assholery (PFUA) .

George has been a “sort of mascot” for the Crabs A’Plenty restaurant in New York and to fundamentalist, extremist Christians.

The greasy stinky beast, which zoologists and presidential scholars said was 62 years old and weighed 170 pounds, had been confined to an oval tank at the Crabs A’Plenty restaurant in Manhattan since 2000 when yesterday two customers finally alerted the PFIA. “The assholery of this thing was gigantic. Like Fox suing Warner Brothers over ‘The Watchmen’ sized assholery.” Said Diana Shaw, a Crabs A’Plenty diner who alerted several watchdog groups, humanitarian services and the People’s Foundation for Inhuman Assholery.

The PFIA’s released statement did not say exactly how the immense depth of assholery was allowed to get so big, but restaurant manager Keith Walton told Mindflowers that sometimes brine-smelling muck-dwellers can grow increasingly arrogant, fear-mongering, bigoted, war-loving, and actually insane over time, if given the right conditions. “This thing must have somehow been fed the pyschic energies of millions of bigots over at least eight years. It was oozing toxic ignorance.” Said Walton. 

He said the creature had been “sitting in the restaurant’s tank and acting as a sort of mascot, you know: telling funny stories like a crazy old senile person, starting wars, lying about said wars, illegally spying on people, combatting against reason and sense through appealing to people’s base nature, lying about environmental devastation, playing with its tiny genitals while thinking about Abu Ghraib, that kind of stuff.” but when PFIA got involved and requested it be released back to its cesspool, it “seemed like the right thing to do.”

PFIA President Shayna Newkirk said in a statement, “We can’t believe the assholery present in this feeble and despicable creature. Surely this is a bottom feeder who found a wealth of homophobic, anti-science, racist, war loving Neandrathals to be a source of its soul vampirism. ”

Plans have been made for the creature to shed the tight confines of his old restaurant display tank. On January 20th, George W. Bush will be driven to Texas by PFIA members and returned to his natural habitat on the bottom of a cesspool, the organization said.

Reported by Ryan McGivern

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/01/10/maine.lobster.liberated/
http://www.bushlies.net/
http://bushcrimes.net/
http://www.rense.com/general73/warcrim.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lobster