My friend Bonnie wrote to me:
do you still think you can write a letter to mel from a professional soccer player, preferably one from guadalajara, mexico? i think i should send her this check really soon and i’m hoping that if i send something amusing along with it she will forgive how late i am in sending it in the first place.
Hola Mel!!
Please excuse my English is not so good. I met Bonnie in the hot tub at the Holiday Inn in Houston and she said for me to write you, that you would like this. I don’t know what to say, though, so I will tell you about myself. I live in Guadalajara in Mexico where I play futbol for my career, I am the goalie. I am not married because I prefer blond girls, and redheads. I do have two kids, maybe you should know this. They won’t be a problem when we meet though because they live with their mothers.
My favorite thing to do when I am not playing football is to cook exotic Chinese food. This is because I spent a year playing for the Shanghai Dragons club team and there are so many strange foods that I learned about because I had lots of time because and no one to talk to . I can do sexy things with bok choy and my favorite dessert to make is lotus seeds in rock sugar syrup. I get lotus seeds from Amazon Mexico which is a wonderful thing, they even deliver groceries from trucks around Guadalajara. I am usually the only vegetarian on my team, but I do like to eat chicken sometimes after we win a game.
My mom is very old and nice. She lives in in a village 20km from San Luis Potosi. Her job is to sew the stars on your American flag. She is very patriotic towards your country. My dad ran away with a hooker when I was 8. I don’t blame him anymore and he and the hooker have given me two very beautiful sisters. My dad is an elected official in San Luis Potosi and is highly respecred. He is the transportation minister and he has a very large collection of snakes including a python! The snakes do not have cages, my dad lets them roam around the guest room. Sometimes one snake will eat another which I believe is cannibalism but can also be exciting, especially when a big one eats a small one and then the python eats the big one. The snakes are like Russian dolls.
Anyway, I am very happy to write you. Bonnie tells me you are a very kind and smoking hot American woman and I would like to meet you up close and personal some day soon.
Ciao baby,
Liborio Vicente Sánchez
To my Love -
