Politics


Hello dear friends. I just got done eating an entire box of Kraft Mac and Cheese so before the carb-atonic
coma kicks in, I thought I’d write about the recent resignation slip handed in by Establishment Faith groups and the new day for Progressive Faith models.

As a Californian, I of course have been watching the Prop 8 develop like a “too much peppers” poop:
Something was afoot-a rumbling in some folks’ tummies. Out they pooped upon the landscape and now we’re dealing with the fallout. However-like any home clearing bowel movement, its acted as a clarion call to open a window.

Out of the shadows steps people of faith that are relevant, American ideal adhering, and on the side of history.

Firstly: When we’ve got people killing themselves in their foreclosed homes and nearly 10% unemployment and faith groups spending millions of dollars and millions of hours of effort to create an environment of inequality for a minority population, those faith groups have jumped the shark into abysmal irrelevance. This is essentially an act of handing over any right to speak “prophetically to the nation(s).” Arguably, the ‘prophetic’ is about misplaced values (idolatry) and injustice. I think that while people go hungry and there’s two wars going on, an argument over sematics and “definitions” is one way for any faith movement to sign up for the “misplaced concern” hall of fame.
Winner: Emerging progressive faith communities. Loser: Old Time Religion

Secondly: I’m confused about people who haven’t got the whole “Under God With Liberty And Justice For All” thing. Look-we’re in a racist and unfair country. We’ve got to get our shit together and start looking into systematic racism and the war on poor people we’re waging. We’ve got to find a way to educate our urban children, protect our workers migrant or not with the dignity due to human beings. This is the work of justice. And when a buncha “faithful” people rally around taking away the fully inclusive rights of some and neglect the basic tenets of the Constitution, its hard to gain momentum on the other justice issues too. America’s greatest ideals are about creating a safehaven in the world where everyone gets a fair shake. It has not always lived up to that promise. We have moved towards that goal-and we have been opposed in this goal by some faith groups every step of the way. (I say some. Progressive faiths have always been a part of the solution too. I know this.) The American constitution always historically wins out. I hate to say it, but for those folks who voted for Proposition 8 in California: Your faith’s cultural and spiritual vigor has been depleted and you just haven’t got what America is about yet. Look-people’s inherent constitutionally (and “god given” meaning essential and irrevocable) granted rights are not up for a vote. That’s why there’s a constitution to protect us all from a tyranny of the majority. Regardless of whatever your faith tells you about society being built upon the foundation of hetero-only families, what our society is founded upon is equal rights under law (and that whole life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness stuff too).

Lastly, our nation’s and our world’s young people are on to you. You see, there’s this thing called the Internet SupernetInfo Byway Overpass Web and it’s made the world a San Francisco. No, not in that all the world has really beautiful weather, environmentally friendly and forward thinking business, great coffee, and super mass transit: all the world is a major global port. Only Duluth Minnesota is now a global port of information. And the fear tactics of Old Time Religion is based on a lack of information. Kids are told about Leviticus and they go click on “Hermeneutics” and “Biblical Scholarship” and can figure out pretty quick the same thing that Progressive faiths have been saying for the last 300 years. Information is fluid and relationships are expanding. Guess what happens when one is related to others and isn’t misinformed about them? They begin to foster compassion, understanding, love, intimacy, vulnerability, mutual goals, community, etc. etc.

Prop 8 had its winners and its losers and Old Time Religion is on the ropes.
We can see how the voting has changed in this country over the years.
I’ve spoken with elementary school kids in the Valley who proudly share that their
beloved teacher is a lesbian.
We’ve got kids who know that global warming is real and that we can decide to make the environment for poor people in LA, Asia, Africa, Richmond, Detroit better or worse depending on our ethics and actions.
We know that we can achieve peace through non-violent means and that through solidarity and unity we can do anything as a nation or as a people.

Thank God for the Progressive Faith witness to lead the charge in justive, love, relevance, and real results for a better world. To all you Pagans, Muslims, Sikhs, Sufis, Hindis, Witches, Christians, Atheists, Jews, and other people of faith who are going the good work of justice for all-keep it up. You’ve got one Catholic in L.A. who’s just ate 2,800 calories of Mac and Cheese behind you.

And now its time for a nap.

Derek Hess
Overcompensation
Pen, ink, acrylic
2006
            Derek Hess is a Cleveland based artist who was first noticed as a music poster artist who has now gained widespread interest for his religious and politically motivated art. He has recently added most recently to the political landscape most directly in his design of an Obama “Change” poster. In 2008, he provided the illustration and mixed media art for Please God Save Us which also featured political essays by Kent Smith an Education Board member in Euclid, Ohio. The inspirations Hess cites there are the “hard Christian Right, religious extremists, John McCain, and intolerance.” Hess’s work draws from political and religious iconography and at times co-opts directly Christian proselytizing publishing material. His art, populated by murderous angels, self crucifying figures, and apocalyptic urban landscapes are polarizing and confrontational lending themselves to debate and discussion that hopefully will exceed the brash bombastic nature of his art. Hess’ pieces often retain their sketch lines, their feeling of immediacy and incompleteness which lend them to the interpretation that they indeed are only to be approached as launching discussion and further debate-they are not the final word. As prophetic, they condemn, rile, abuse, and wait for the response. Repentance often requires time, and these pieces engage the interpreter/participant in such a way as to initial shock, but with repeated viewing and over time, allow for pushing back against the message.
            Hess’ Overcompensation can recall the image of Michaelangelo’s sculpture of David. One arm cocked at the shoulder, one arm lowered but tense as though beginning motion, the weight shifted on his feet. David, depending on the perspective is just victorious over his foe or just beginning to take up the fight. Which is it that Hess has in mind for his elephant headed monster? Whereas David has in hand his sling and a small stone, Hess has girded his warring giant with what he calls his “Crosstika” symbol, a synthesis of the swastika and the Christian cross and what appears to be a Bible. The Elephant head aside, there are a few discrepancies to note: Hess’ figure is much more muscular, and there is more motion implied as if in a swaggering forward. The monster’s genitals too have been decreased in their size leaving the interpreter to muse on their own understandings of Freud and Lacan.
            The crosstika and scripture as weapons signal the kind of destruction being depicted in the piece is that of ideology, rhetoric, the battle over minds, memes, thoughts, emotions, the battleground of the soulish space that society lives in. As to the weapon of the crosstika: both the swastika, a symbol of good luck shared between Hindu, Greek, and Indigenous American Nations among others, and the cross can be seen as symbols that have been greatly misused and bastardized over time. Together in the crosstika, Hess causes one to reflect on the crucifixion of our symbols themselves and their continual need for maintenance, their incompleteness, their inability to speak to our values and complex spiritual lives. Just as the cross in American culture is seen by some as an offense, so do many see it as something that needs to be defended, recaptured from those who would ‘misuse’ it. The same can be said of the Bible in the monsters other hand; as much as scripture is read, it acts as a symbol. The clutched Bible in a stalwart hand can be seen at political protests and its magical use as symbol has been ritualized in swearing-in ceremonies of our political officials. Hess acts as a prophet calling one to see not these symbols or artifacts as dangerous, but in their ambiguity-their defenselessness against their appropriation. An interpreter is brought to reflect in how they may have used religious or spiritual symbol or frameworks to harm another. As one who has participated in ministry, I can attest to how easy it can be to mislead and harm, albeit inadvertently, another.
            Of course, the Red Elephant head here is Hess’ much recreated demonic recasting of the Republican Party icon. Hess sees the Bush administration years and its neo-conservative agenda setters’ unholy alliance with conservative Christians as creating a poisonous atmosphere for the American culture. Yet the elephant head can be seen as a mask-only a cover for the murderous monster underneath that would seek to see others beneath it. This again can interpreted as another example of the fluidity of symbol: how much is the Republican Party itself only a symbol? How it may act as a divisive or unifying force in our society as an organization should not be confused with the individual Americans who belong to the Party. If the Red Elephant head is seen as a mask, who is hiding behind it? The prophetic voice calls once again to ask each interpreter how they might prop up Political Parties, or Politicians as caricatures, use affiliations or voting histories to deride or dismiss a fellow human being, or hide themselves from individual responsibility in society.
               The people trampled at the bottom of the piece are first and foremost those who suffer the crimes of emotional, spiritual, ideological demeaning. We are met with a prophetic call to repeat of how we overcompensate our perceived enemies with antagonistic polemics, slander, jargon, and bigoted thoughts that we give life to everyday in our interactions. Is the Monster shown here a Republican or ourselves? I believe that Hess’ title of Overcompensation may act as a clue to us. Is he overcompensating by creating a piece that could be said to show a Republicanized Christian Right marching through corpses? I would say yes. Only because I believe that any prophetic voice must first resonate within oneself before it could possibly be applied to anyone else. Has the last eight years of neo-conservative politics been oppressive to the poor, people of color, LGBT communities and families, our youth, the environment, and the innocents of Guantanamo and Iraq? Yes. However, I believe that America will not succeed in its hopes for a positive and reconciliatory change if the need for justice is not begun within myself first.
            So I approach Overcompensation as contrite myself. I reflect on how I have in the past stood by and allowed others to slander entire groups of people, both religious and political. I reflect on how my own stooping to the lowest common denominator in public discourse has only led to polarizing others and not to understanding and patient debate. The Monster here is not of any particular party or religion afterall. It is the force that lies within me to overpower, to dominate, to use and abuse the symbols around me to my own ends. I need to myself take off the masks that I have chosen and face individually my responsibilities. While the people trampled here I believe are victims of a thought life-those that one would like to see as having a value less than ourselves, it is important that my thought life has real world effects-for justice and peace or violence and hatred. It is for fear of creating more victims, that I see this work as firstly and foremost prophetic to me.        -Ryan McGivern

Hot damn do I love a challenge.
Life the last 75 years has been so boring.
I’ve seen a man walk on the moon. Wow. Big deal.
No one likes a braggart or vacation photos, so that news cycle sucked.
I saw the end of WWII which was good for Europe, but really sucked
for me as I had to come back home and look for a job.
But things have finally got interesting around here.
Here comes the Greater Depression!
Yeeeeehaw! Bring it on.
I’ve got my brand new dentures (bought on credit) and I’m ready to
bite into (figuratively) what is to be the world first global economic collapse (literally).
So to help all you young whipper snappers out there (some of whom actually
snap whips, I’ve been surprised to find out on YouPorn.com) get a handle on
how to not only survive….but survive with your children uneaten by roving bands
of hungry Midwesterners.

Let’s first clear one thing out of the way: drippings burnt onto the bottom of your rich cousin’s oven are delicious, savory, and often nutritious depending on the grade of salt pork he stole from the back of a van.

Now, we all know that education is expensive. Even when I was a youngin’ we were expected to bring acorns to the school house for roastin’ and an apple to give to the playground attentant/milking goat Boots. That got pricey! And goats are irritable!
So if you plan on sending your children to college-I’ve got a couple of surefire tips.
Move to India. Give your child to someone in one of them good castes.
Believe me, I’ve given some kids to castes that in retrospect were not good choices. But
my biological son Mrbuti says he’ll forgive me in a couple of lifetimes.

Now, let’s talk about penny pinching in the sex department.
I’ve been to one of these here, whatya call ‘em, “stores” (we only had family owned corner markets around when I was young) and I come to find condoms cost like 5 bucks for a little box with only a couple of rubbers in there! Believe me, I’ve humped some pretty weird things out there-I was a Army Private for 13 years, I was a prisoner in the Federal Penal System for 9, and I lived in Houston for 3 months for Chrissakes. I’ve seen it all. And…..I don’t know where I was going with this but the point is condoms are expensive so do the “pull out method”. It keeps pregnancies down to a level that is pretty acceptable and I don’t believe in STD’s so there.

There is a bright side to any Depression.
When my second wife Elsa got depressed, she’d buy me Gin and Tonics all day long just to keep her company.
This Depression will be no different. There will be a lot more parties. Drinkin’, druggin’, sleepin’ around. It’ll be like a Lew Stevell and His Home-Cookin’ Bluegrass Band concert!!
(I was at their 1925 Cleveland show during their ‘Man Ain’t Meant To Fly’ tour. That was a GREAT show. Too bad their band train derailed the next day, killing all fourteen band members and critically injuring their milking goat.)
So anyway. The last Great Depression was a hoot and this present Greater Depression will
give us all a lot of fun memories. So drink up and make the best of it!!

Horm McGivern
Editor’s Note:
This blog was transcribed from the scribbles Horm made in his porridge by his
great great grandson Ryan. Tragically, later that morning, Horm died from Syphilis.

Our crack squad of journalists and phone tappers at Mindflowers have got our America-lovin’ paws on our two most favoritist political powerhouses: Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber.

Joe the Plumber: Uhhh, hello?
Sarah: Hiya Joe.
Joe: Yes, how can I help you?
Sarah: Joe-this is Sarah, doncha know.
Joe: Oh shit! What are you wearing?
Sarah: Joe! (laughs) Well, a powersuit. A nice little number that cost me eight grand.
Joe: Hoooooweeeeeee!
Sarah: Joe. Look I’m calling about business.
Joe: Oh! You got another clogged up toilet over there?
Sarah: No, its not that. Y’see Joe, I need some more talking points.
Joe: Sarcasm. That always works.
Sarah: Well, yeah! Duh. But I need you to tell me the words to say in a sarcastic tone.
Joe: How ’bout……..Socialist!
Sarah: Good! That’s good….. Who’s a socialist?
Joe: Barack Obama!
Sarah: Ohhhhh. That’s good. That’s really good……What’s a socialist?
Joe: You know. Uh. Like France and stuff. Not America.
Sarah: Yeah. Socialism is pretty un-American isn’t it?
Joe: You bet.
Sarah: You betcha.
Joe: How’s the campaign coming?
Sarah: Great!
Joe: Really?
Sarah: No. It sucks frankly. I was being sarcastic.
Joe: I can never tell. Everything kinda sounds at least a little sarcastic when you say it.
Sarah: Listen. Joe-so you’re a plumber right?
Joe: Yes.
Sarah: What do you know about politics? I mean, you must have been around politicians in your time.
Joe: Well, I once unclogged a sink stopped up with vomit and cat food in the trailer home of some crazy ass who was listening to AM talk radio. And I think she was a Representative in Minnesota.
Sarah: That works. What’d ya find out?
Joe: Well. Some Americans aren’t American.
Sarah: I’ve never said this before but…I don’t know what that means.
Joe: Some Americans are Anti-America. What was that lady’s name? She had the eyes of a madman-vacant and cold…Michelle Bachmann. That was her name. She smelled like old people and had four bibles in her living room and she’d written on the wall “get out of my head, voices!” in her own feces.

Sarah: Mmm. Alaskan you say?
Joe: No. Minnesotan. Anyway. Like I says…Some Americans are Anti-America.
Sarah: Like when they complain about what’s going on in America. Like Martin Luther King.
Joe: I guess.
Sarah: Like Women’s Suffrage.
Joe: Yeah.
Sarah: I hate trouble-making America-haters.
Joe: Exactly. So do other old white people.
Sarah: Aha! I’ve got my next interview all set now. Thanks Joe.
Joe: That’s what I do. I fix toilets and inspire our nation’s top intellectuals.
Sarah: Oh, and by the way. I think I will need you for something else……
Joe: Oh, baby!
Sarah: No. I mean I just clogged the toilet.
Joe: Again?
Sarah: Its this new ‘Extra Absorbant’ Charmin! Its like trying to flush bedsheets!
Joe: I’ll be over as soon as I finish my edit on Sean Hannity’s opening piece for tonight.

 

If you would like Sarah Palin, Joe the Plumber, or John McCain to brighten your workday, 
email us (or leave as a comment) your office work number (or the number of your Republican co-worker) and get ready for your brush with greatness!

Ryan McGivern
we’ll call you within 4 work days up to the Nov. 4th election.

Dr. McCain: What’s all that rootin’ tootin’ noise down there?
Igor Palin: Nuthin’.
Dr. McCain: I just heard an explosion and a scream of terror.
Igor Palin: Uhhhh.

(Just then, a giant monster comprised of the reanimated bodies of a million stinking
corpses bursts through the laboratory walls of the castle.)

Dr. McCain: My Monster! Its…..so murderous and huge! Have you been feeding it, Igor?
Igor Palin: I’ll have to get back to you on that.
Dr. McCain: Monster! Listen to me. Hearken unto me!

(Monster smashes down a forest screaming “these trees are arab” and “oaks are terrorists”)
Dr. McCain: That forest is an upstanding forest!
Igor Palin: (whispering to the Monster) Maple? I don’t know about that. I just can’t trust them.
Monster: Raaaaar!
Dr. McCain: Now, let’s raze this forest in a thoughtful way! We’ll put up an oil well or something! Nooooo!!

(Monster looks with disdain at its tiny master and then eats him.)

Igor Palin: Well, all the more room in the castle for me.

Epilogue: Igor and Monster settle down together in an apocalyptic wasteland of their making.

Bill Maher has said that his goal for Religulous is to make people laugh.
And that it does.
I saw it opening weekend along with other Maher faithful who lined up the sidewalk to see the Larry Charles (of Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Borat) directed film, and we were not disappointed.
The film mustn’t be mistaken as a “no holds barred” critical analysis of religion. It isn’t. It is however a send up of fundamentalist religion in its many guises.

Fundamentalist faith is a easy target, we’ve all got to admit. The affiable Maher seems at ease in his role as the Eternal Skeptic and he makes his comedic interviews look easy because let’s face it: its easy.

But the film is bookended by matters more serious than the common South Park faire: Armeggedon.
Here Maher stands at Meggido, the titular site of the End of Days showdown where Jesus is said in Revelation to open some serious Whoop-Ass cans. The only thing more frightening, says Maher, than apocalyptic prophecies are self fulfilling apocalyptic prophecies. He then points to the necro-fetishism of Fundamentalist religion-the hatred and bigotry it fosters, the lack of environmental concern, the eager willingness to push the world towards final cataclysm as the greatest threat to humanity.

This did not have us laughing. Here I heard sighs, gasps. With a backdrop of images none too subtle, including 9/11, nuclear mushrooms, and belching smokestacks, Maher ends the film with a not too agnostic sounding challenge: “Grow up or perish.”

This is a sentiment that many social critics and theologians are airing recently. Our world is too small and fragile; our societies too vulnerable to messages of absolutism to condone the worldviews that got us where we are today.

And like some other voices critical to fundamentalisms, he implores the open-minded or secularized religious to come out of their traditions-their support only implicitly giving credibility to the extremists of their faith.

I liked this film. But I’m not sure if I completely I buy Maher’s thesis.
I do agree that fundamental religion is a great threat to our world-but it’s posed as ‘Religion’ often in the film-not fundamentalism. Maher and Charles could have strengthened their argument if they had separated faithful people who work for the betterment of the world from those who are antagonistic towards justice, love, and understanding.

The next morning after seeing the film, I went to a local church to check it out. What I found there would have been interesting to get Maher’s response on. Without naming its denomination, I will say that it is an ‘open and affirming’ Christian denomination that celebrates the LGBTQ community and individuals. The congregation was outspoken in their desire to be radically inclusive to all people and sought to build bridges among cultures and communities with mutual respect. The pastor referenced St. Francis, the Jewish Days of Awe, Jesus, Lesbian activist and feminist Del Martin as sources of spiritual strength and inspiration. He read Jesus’ words of comfort to those who mourned while adding that the Bible was only one source of spiritual truth among many.
Was this the religion that Maher had in mind to skewer? I don’t think so.
Its too bad that he didn’t focus on the diversity of religion’s cultural effects because it would only give better critique of those who decide to accept fundamentalism.

Now, Maher does give time to gay muslims, the Catholic Church’s teaching deriding erroneous Young Earth beliefs (a la Sarah Palin’s ‘dinos and people lived simultaneously’), and a Catholic priest who brushes off theologies of sin and hell, but only with the feeling that these types of religious believers are in a vast minority.

The best argument against misanthropic and culturally destructive religions are those individuals who are faithfully religious while remaining open-minded, considerate, and impressionable by new scientific developments.
The less effective argument is one that remains sarcastic, finger pointing, and dismissive.

The type of ineffective thought that Fundamentalism represents happens all the time and is not restricted to its religious incarnations. Dogmaticism of thought, stubbornness, cultural colonialism, bigotry, and devout ignorance occurs all around us- in academia, the business world, Nationalism, and the slavish adherence to your particular political party. 

Hopefully the discussion surrounding Maher’s (well worth seeing) film will be more articulate and patient without losing any of the good humor and playfulness.

In all, I give Religulous: 8 prayer beads out of 10.  

 

Ryan McGivern

www.jewishmosaic.org
www.uua.org
www.mccchurch.org
www.sojo.net

            So here in California, where I am the palest of residents, we will soon be voting on the rights and status of a minority population. We love this stuff!

            You may think that California is all fun and games-coke, surfing, broccoli and meth farms, fields of weed and military bases. Well, you’d be in part right. We are all about fun here. But we also know how to get things done when it comes to calling into question the basic tenets of our country’s Constitution.

            More than a 110,000 Japanese ‘interned’ at our scenic getaways during the Second World War can tell you: California is a great place to live and an even better place to be scape-goated!

            Hey! You think that we’d be tuckered out with all this ‘economic crisis’? Pah!
            Bring it on.

            War, poverty, hunger, drought, environmental collapse, sickness, over stretched education system, jam packed prisons—We don’t even notice that shit anymore.

            Because we’ve got bigger fish to fry: Who’s loving who.

           

            So we’re ready to vote on Prop. 8!
            Thank Jesus for the California Family Council and their ilk.

           

            Now people will tell you that this whole thing is recalling the ‘tradition’ and ‘religion’ soaked arguments against interracial marriage.

            (Was that even illegal in America? That seems silly. Having so many caring Christians around, they wouldn’t have let that happen right?)

            Turns out that California dealt with the issue of interracial marriage back in 1948-

back when we still had God in our schools, God wasn’t mocked by Harry Potter, and our children felt horrible for masturbating.

 

            Here’s some highlights from Perez v. Lippold- a case over a Mexican American, Andrea Perez, wanting to marry African American Sylvester Davis…

           

            “The right to marry is as fundamental as the right to send one’s child to a particular school or the right to have offspring.”

           

            “Legislation infringing such rights must be based upon more than prejudice and must be free from oppressive discrimination to comply with the constitutional requirements of due process and equal protection of the laws.”
           

            “Since the right to marry is the right to join in marriage with the person of one’s choice, a statute that prohibits an individual from marrying a member of a race other than his own restricts the scope of his choice and thereby restricts his right to marry. It must therefore be determined whether the state can restrict that right on the basis of race alone without violating the equal protection of the laws clause of the United States Constitution.”

 

            “A state law prohibiting members of one race from marrying members of another race is not designed to meet a clear and present peril arising out of an emergency. In the absence of an emergency the state clearly cannot base a law impairing fundamental rights of individuals on general assumptions as to traits of racial groups.”

 

            Hmmmm….That Justice Traynor must have been a real activist judge enforcing his will upon the people. Radical elitist.

 

            So what were people saying back in the Good Old Days against interracial marriage? Here’s some great quotes gathered from www.vtfreetomarry.org

           

            “Allowing interracial marriages “necessarily involves the degradation” of

conventional marriage, an institution that “deserves admiration rather than

execration.’”

 

            “[A]t the very time the Constitution of the United States was being formulated,

miscegenation was considered inimical to the public good and was

frowned upon by the colonies, and continued to be so regarded and

prohibited in states having any substantial admixture of population at the time

the 14th amendment was adopted.”

 

            “Civilized society has the power of self-preservation, and, marriage being the

foundation of such society, most of the states in which the Negro forms an

element of any note have enacted laws inhibiting intermarriage between the

white and black races.”

 

            …….Tradition! Convention! Accepted throughout our Nation’s history! If only we had judges who were faithful to the Constitution of our founding fathers instead of radically ‘interpreting’ it….  

 

           

            Well, maybe things have changed. Maybe there’s more sense, equality, Constitutionality, care, patriotism and Christian charity happening now than before. Let’s take a look at the language being used on the voting information for Prop. 8 in the Official California Voter Information Guide as written by such gentle spirits as Ron Prentice of California Family Council, Bishop George McKinney, Jeralee Smith of the California Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays.

 

            1) They refer to the ‘gay lifestyle’ a number of times in their arguments. This is language that is more appropriate to the early 1980’s. It assumes, contrary to what science, experience, philosophy, and theology have been telling us for decades, that identity is an easily compartmentalized and categorized phenomena. I’m not even going to fall into the trap of the question of ‘is it a choice?’ or ‘are you born that way?’. Feminists, cognitive scientists, Queer Theorists, Theologians, and Christian Leaders have passed over that question a long time ago. Identity is fluid, porous….free. Hey, you mean that people are free to be who they want? That’s either American or common sense, but anyway you hack it, ‘gay lifestyle’ is a language trap that’s only appealing to the most out-of-touch or inconsiderate among us.

            2) They write that they are very fearful of ‘our children’ being taught that ‘gay marriage is okay.’ OKAY. What that exactly means, I’m not sure. Now, the freedom to marry who you want will in no way affect the education of children in public schools other than if they are to ask their teacher “do all people have equal treatment under law in their pursuit of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?” the teacher can now honestly answer “Well, were at least working in that direction.”

            This is the best word that they could come up with? OKAY? You don’t want your kids to get the idea that ‘gay marriage is okay’? Do you mean ‘legal’? Do you mean ‘not sinful’? Acceptable? I wonder if they are meaning ‘moral’? Are some people seeking to enshrine their idea of morality in state law and validate their interpretation of their religion’s norms? It seems that America has a nasty way of coming to find (albeit sometimes slowly) that these appeals to Tradition and Old Time Religion are less than compelling.

 

            3) They recall the ‘definition of marriage’. Are we fighting over the use of a word, a religious sacrament, or a civil right? Words can and will be used in different ways, and unless we want a Linguistic Council established to further bloat our Big Brother government, we’ll have to probably settle on the fact that words and the ideas behind them change. Or is it the religious sacrament? As a Catholic, believe me: I’d love for a buncha people out there to stop baptizing all willy-nilly. Baptism had been long established by Tradition and Old Time Religion and now look around us! We got Mormons baptizing dead people, we got the Triple Dunk Style, Sprinkle, Single Dunk in a MegaChurch Style….Its ridiculous! We need to go back to the traditional definition of Baptism: “Babies in white gowns crying.” If it’s the American Right to live your life the way you want and arrange your family life the way you want, then that’s a definition of marriage that doesn’t really help the Yes on Prop. 8 crowd.

 

            No where in the arguments for Yes on Prop. 8 do they mention equal protection under the law. No where is there an appeal to the Constitution (national or state) as a document that grants the same rights to everyone.

            They claim that Prop. 8 restores “the meaning of marriage to what human history has understood it to be”. This is the most sick, fascist, and bigoted nonsense of their argument. It reveals exactly what they are talking about: Their petty little world that ignores the cultures, religions, historical periods that reveal that marriage, family, love, commitment, sacraments are very cultural and religious ideas that are varied and changing. Who are they including in ‘human history’? There you have it: the clearest revelation of their agenda-deciding who is less than worthy of human dignity.

 

            Who is California going to side with on Prop. 8?

            Who do you see as human? Inhuman? Who is ‘okay’ enough to be included in your definition of human?

 

            Vote NO on Prop. 8.

           

 

            Your Pale Californian, Ryan McGivern

 

www.vtfreetomarry.org

 

           

 

Dearest Senator Obama:
Good morning, my friend.
I hope that you are well this morning.
Thanks for emailing me those ‘liver cleanse’ recipes.
Man! That stuff really works. I’m drinking nothing BUT olive oil now.
Let’s turn to the economy for a second.
I’ve been told its bad.
Because the economy is bad, I hereby frickin’ DARE you to stop your campaign like me.
Just stop it. In fact, if you don’t pack up your bumper stickers and catchy websites (that I’ve been
told are accessible on The Interweb) it just shows how little you care for this country.
I care so much about this election I’ve dedicated myself to removing myself from it.
Now to the debate scheduled for tomorrow: Let’s call it a tie.
P.S. Did you see that David Blaine stunt? That guys crazy!
P.P.S. Let’s call off the VP debates too. Sarah…has a headache….I mean, tapeworm.
Yup. Them’s the breaks. Got a tapeworm. And….she’ll be hard at work on the economy.
And checking her stool regularly for evidence of a tapeworms. Which she does have.
P.P.P.S. Why don’t you ever return my Facebook pokes?

Yours truly,
American Hero John McCain

Dear America,

Let me just pause for a minute first to say that poverty is a moral challenge and secondly to wipe these entrails off my chin.  As all readers of the National Enquirer already know, and only a few of the most insane and socially outcast conspiracy theorizing vagrants have mused, I am a werewolf.  I know this comes as a surprise considering that I’ve denied being one so many times.  You may be familiar with my well publicized statements such as:
“You must be on drugs! Of course I’m not a shape shifting minion of the moon.”
and
“I’m about as much werewolf as I am directed by Big Oil Lobbyists. So let me put it plainly- I am not in the pocket of Oil, and my skeleton does not undergo drastic morphing under the influence of lunar phases.”

Well, maybe you’re not on drugs after all, but I’m still not influenced by Big Oil.  I know that my actions have hurt many who trusted me.  Believe me, I’ve seen the autopsy reports and I can pretty much guarantee that those who I devoured while a werewolf lost trust and faith in me in their last earthly moments and to them I am sorry.

You know the saying “once bitten twice shy” is only a saying. And a pretty stupid saying at that.  So if I have bitten you in the recent past, I implore you: don’t be shy.  After all, think about my side of the story. I’ve been under a lot of stress and the moon sometimes gets full folks. Sometimes it gets full. Are you going to point fingers at a middle aged guy with a wife that’s packed on some poundage and who has been infected by a werewolf’s bite?

Come on.  Forgive and forget.  Isn’t that what my buddy Barack has been talking about? Let’s let bygones be bygones.  Didn’t we learn our lessons already from Bill Clinton and Remus Lupin?  Didn’t we find a place in our hearts to forgive the lies of a cheating husband who is trying to garner the trust of an already jaded public?  Didn’t we realize that when Remus Lupin tried to attack Harry Potter that he wasn’t in his right mind?
So America, again I reiterate: I feel bad if my biting and clawing at your femoral arteries has caused either your death or your loss of trust in me but for the rest of you who have yet to succumb to my demonic strength and savage thirst for human livers-let’s sweep this whole thing under the rug.

After all, we’ve got to stand united and not be distracted from our common goals of re-taking the White  House, getting laid, and eating human livers.

Thank you. God bless America.  And don’t venture outside after night fall.

John Edwards

With the Bejing Olympics coming up this week, I think its high time to
say what everyone has been thinking:
Tibet must be allowed to be gluten free.

How long has there been wheat added to the soy sauce of a once
picturesque and placid country?
Is that really necessary? I understand that it thickens it a bit and is more
pleasing to the communist taste, but really: Can’t Tibet be free to decide for
itself between Tamari and Kikkoman?

Tibet had been historically a quiet, nonviolent self autonomous kingdom that
prided itself in producing fine foods without the use of wheat, malt, oats, nor barley.
You think its easy to meditate for eight hours at a time when your sprew is kicking
in overtime? Think again.

While the world will be watching China in the upcoming weeks and enjoying the world’d greatest athletic endeavors, some of us will be wondering if the next bowl of noodles Tibet eats will be made from barley flour ‘tsampa’ or rice.

The voice of the intestinally challenged will not be silenced.
Gluten Free Tibet

http://sweetpeasglutenfreekitchen.blogspot.com/2008/05/i-love-tibet.htmlhttp://www.flyingapron.net/home.htm
http://www.tibet.org/

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