Politics


Bill Maher has said that his goal for Religulous is to make people laugh.
And that it does.
I saw it opening weekend along with other Maher faithful who lined up the sidewalk to see the Larry Charles (of Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Borat) directed film, and we were not disappointed.
The film mustn’t be mistaken as a “no holds barred” critical analysis of religion. It isn’t. It is however a send up of fundamentalist religion in its many guises.

Fundamentalist faith is a easy target, we’ve all got to admit. The affiable Maher seems at ease in his role as the Eternal Skeptic and he makes his comedic interviews look easy because let’s face it: its easy.

But the film is bookended by matters more serious than the common South Park faire: Armeggedon.
Here Maher stands at Meggido, the titular site of the End of Days showdown where Jesus is said in Revelation to open some serious Whoop-Ass cans. The only thing more frightening, says Maher, than apocalyptic prophecies are self fulfilling apocalyptic prophecies. He then points to the necro-fetishism of Fundamentalist religion-the hatred and bigotry it fosters, the lack of environmental concern, the eager willingness to push the world towards final cataclysm as the greatest threat to humanity.

This did not have us laughing. Here I heard sighs, gasps. With a backdrop of images none too subtle, including 9/11, nuclear mushrooms, and belching smokestacks, Maher ends the film with a not too agnostic sounding challenge: “Grow up or perish.”

This is a sentiment that many social critics and theologians are airing recently. Our world is too small and fragile; our societies too vulnerable to messages of absolutism to condone the worldviews that got us where we are today.

And like some other voices critical to fundamentalisms, he implores the open-minded or secularized religious to come out of their traditions-their support only implicitly giving credibility to the extremists of their faith.

I liked this film. But I’m not sure if I completely I buy Maher’s thesis.
I do agree that fundamental religion is a great threat to our world-but it’s posed as ‘Religion’ often in the film-not fundamentalism. Maher and Charles could have strengthened their argument if they had separated faithful people who work for the betterment of the world from those who are antagonistic towards justice, love, and understanding.

The next morning after seeing the film, I went to a local church to check it out. What I found there would have been interesting to get Maher’s response on. Without naming its denomination, I will say that it is an ‘open and affirming’ Christian denomination that celebrates the LGBTQ community and individuals. The congregation was outspoken in their desire to be radically inclusive to all people and sought to build bridges among cultures and communities with mutual respect. The pastor referenced St. Francis, the Jewish Days of Awe, Jesus, Lesbian activist and feminist Del Martin as sources of spiritual strength and inspiration. He read Jesus’ words of comfort to those who mourned while adding that the Bible was only one source of spiritual truth among many.
Was this the religion that Maher had in mind to skewer? I don’t think so.
Its too bad that he didn’t focus on the diversity of religion’s cultural effects because it would only give better critique of those who decide to accept fundamentalism.

Now, Maher does give time to gay muslims, the Catholic Church’s teaching deriding erroneous Young Earth beliefs (a la Sarah Palin’s ‘dinos and people lived simultaneously’), and a Catholic priest who brushes off theologies of sin and hell, but only with the feeling that these types of religious believers are in a vast minority.

The best argument against misanthropic and culturally destructive religions are those individuals who are faithfully religious while remaining open-minded, considerate, and impressionable by new scientific developments.
The less effective argument is one that remains sarcastic, finger pointing, and dismissive.

The type of ineffective thought that Fundamentalism represents happens all the time and is not restricted to its religious incarnations. Dogmaticism of thought, stubbornness, cultural colonialism, bigotry, and devout ignorance occurs all around us- in academia, the business world, Nationalism, and the slavish adherence to your particular political party. 

Hopefully the discussion surrounding Maher’s (well worth seeing) film will be more articulate and patient without losing any of the good humor and playfulness.

In all, I give Religulous: 8 prayer beads out of 10.  

 

Ryan McGivern

www.jewishmosaic.org
www.uua.org
www.mccchurch.org
www.sojo.net

            So here in California, where I am the palest of residents, we will soon be voting on the rights and status of a minority population. We love this stuff!

            You may think that California is all fun and games-coke, surfing, broccoli and meth farms, fields of weed and military bases. Well, you’d be in part right. We are all about fun here. But we also know how to get things done when it comes to calling into question the basic tenets of our country’s Constitution.

            More than a 110,000 Japanese ‘interned’ at our scenic getaways during the Second World War can tell you: California is a great place to live and an even better place to be scape-goated!

            Hey! You think that we’d be tuckered out with all this ‘economic crisis’? Pah!
            Bring it on.

            War, poverty, hunger, drought, environmental collapse, sickness, over stretched education system, jam packed prisons—We don’t even notice that shit anymore.

            Because we’ve got bigger fish to fry: Who’s loving who.

           

            So we’re ready to vote on Prop. 8!
            Thank Jesus for the California Family Council and their ilk.

           

            Now people will tell you that this whole thing is recalling the ‘tradition’ and ‘religion’ soaked arguments against interracial marriage.

            (Was that even illegal in America? That seems silly. Having so many caring Christians around, they wouldn’t have let that happen right?)

            Turns out that California dealt with the issue of interracial marriage back in 1948-

back when we still had God in our schools, God wasn’t mocked by Harry Potter, and our children felt horrible for masturbating.

 

            Here’s some highlights from Perez v. Lippold- a case over a Mexican American, Andrea Perez, wanting to marry African American Sylvester Davis…

           

            “The right to marry is as fundamental as the right to send one’s child to a particular school or the right to have offspring.”

           

            “Legislation infringing such rights must be based upon more than prejudice and must be free from oppressive discrimination to comply with the constitutional requirements of due process and equal protection of the laws.”
           

            “Since the right to marry is the right to join in marriage with the person of one’s choice, a statute that prohibits an individual from marrying a member of a race other than his own restricts the scope of his choice and thereby restricts his right to marry. It must therefore be determined whether the state can restrict that right on the basis of race alone without violating the equal protection of the laws clause of the United States Constitution.”

 

            “A state law prohibiting members of one race from marrying members of another race is not designed to meet a clear and present peril arising out of an emergency. In the absence of an emergency the state clearly cannot base a law impairing fundamental rights of individuals on general assumptions as to traits of racial groups.”

 

            Hmmmm….That Justice Traynor must have been a real activist judge enforcing his will upon the people. Radical elitist.

 

            So what were people saying back in the Good Old Days against interracial marriage? Here’s some great quotes gathered from www.vtfreetomarry.org

           

            “Allowing interracial marriages “necessarily involves the degradation” of

conventional marriage, an institution that “deserves admiration rather than

execration.’”

 

            “[A]t the very time the Constitution of the United States was being formulated,

miscegenation was considered inimical to the public good and was

frowned upon by the colonies, and continued to be so regarded and

prohibited in states having any substantial admixture of population at the time

the 14th amendment was adopted.”

 

            “Civilized society has the power of self-preservation, and, marriage being the

foundation of such society, most of the states in which the Negro forms an

element of any note have enacted laws inhibiting intermarriage between the

white and black races.”

 

            …….Tradition! Convention! Accepted throughout our Nation’s history! If only we had judges who were faithful to the Constitution of our founding fathers instead of radically ‘interpreting’ it….  

 

           

            Well, maybe things have changed. Maybe there’s more sense, equality, Constitutionality, care, patriotism and Christian charity happening now than before. Let’s take a look at the language being used on the voting information for Prop. 8 in the Official California Voter Information Guide as written by such gentle spirits as Ron Prentice of California Family Council, Bishop George McKinney, Jeralee Smith of the California Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays.

 

            1) They refer to the ‘gay lifestyle’ a number of times in their arguments. This is language that is more appropriate to the early 1980’s. It assumes, contrary to what science, experience, philosophy, and theology have been telling us for decades, that identity is an easily compartmentalized and categorized phenomena. I’m not even going to fall into the trap of the question of ‘is it a choice?’ or ‘are you born that way?’. Feminists, cognitive scientists, Queer Theorists, Theologians, and Christian Leaders have passed over that question a long time ago. Identity is fluid, porous….free. Hey, you mean that people are free to be who they want? That’s either American or common sense, but anyway you hack it, ‘gay lifestyle’ is a language trap that’s only appealing to the most out-of-touch or inconsiderate among us.

            2) They write that they are very fearful of ‘our children’ being taught that ‘gay marriage is okay.’ OKAY. What that exactly means, I’m not sure. Now, the freedom to marry who you want will in no way affect the education of children in public schools other than if they are to ask their teacher “do all people have equal treatment under law in their pursuit of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?” the teacher can now honestly answer “Well, were at least working in that direction.”

            This is the best word that they could come up with? OKAY? You don’t want your kids to get the idea that ‘gay marriage is okay’? Do you mean ‘legal’? Do you mean ‘not sinful’? Acceptable? I wonder if they are meaning ‘moral’? Are some people seeking to enshrine their idea of morality in state law and validate their interpretation of their religion’s norms? It seems that America has a nasty way of coming to find (albeit sometimes slowly) that these appeals to Tradition and Old Time Religion are less than compelling.

 

            3) They recall the ‘definition of marriage’. Are we fighting over the use of a word, a religious sacrament, or a civil right? Words can and will be used in different ways, and unless we want a Linguistic Council established to further bloat our Big Brother government, we’ll have to probably settle on the fact that words and the ideas behind them change. Or is it the religious sacrament? As a Catholic, believe me: I’d love for a buncha people out there to stop baptizing all willy-nilly. Baptism had been long established by Tradition and Old Time Religion and now look around us! We got Mormons baptizing dead people, we got the Triple Dunk Style, Sprinkle, Single Dunk in a MegaChurch Style….Its ridiculous! We need to go back to the traditional definition of Baptism: “Babies in white gowns crying.” If it’s the American Right to live your life the way you want and arrange your family life the way you want, then that’s a definition of marriage that doesn’t really help the Yes on Prop. 8 crowd.

 

            No where in the arguments for Yes on Prop. 8 do they mention equal protection under the law. No where is there an appeal to the Constitution (national or state) as a document that grants the same rights to everyone.

            They claim that Prop. 8 restores “the meaning of marriage to what human history has understood it to be”. This is the most sick, fascist, and bigoted nonsense of their argument. It reveals exactly what they are talking about: Their petty little world that ignores the cultures, religions, historical periods that reveal that marriage, family, love, commitment, sacraments are very cultural and religious ideas that are varied and changing. Who are they including in ‘human history’? There you have it: the clearest revelation of their agenda-deciding who is less than worthy of human dignity.

 

            Who is California going to side with on Prop. 8?

            Who do you see as human? Inhuman? Who is ‘okay’ enough to be included in your definition of human?

 

            Vote NO on Prop. 8.

           

 

            Your Pale Californian, Ryan McGivern

 

www.vtfreetomarry.org

 

           

 

Dearest Senator Obama:
Good morning, my friend.
I hope that you are well this morning.
Thanks for emailing me those ‘liver cleanse’ recipes.
Man! That stuff really works. I’m drinking nothing BUT olive oil now.
Let’s turn to the economy for a second.
I’ve been told its bad.
Because the economy is bad, I hereby frickin’ DARE you to stop your campaign like me.
Just stop it. In fact, if you don’t pack up your bumper stickers and catchy websites (that I’ve been
told are accessible on The Interweb) it just shows how little you care for this country.
I care so much about this election I’ve dedicated myself to removing myself from it.
Now to the debate scheduled for tomorrow: Let’s call it a tie.
P.S. Did you see that David Blaine stunt? That guys crazy!
P.P.S. Let’s call off the VP debates too. Sarah…has a headache….I mean, tapeworm.
Yup. Them’s the breaks. Got a tapeworm. And….she’ll be hard at work on the economy.
And checking her stool regularly for evidence of a tapeworms. Which she does have.
P.P.P.S. Why don’t you ever return my Facebook pokes?

Yours truly,
American Hero John McCain

Dear America,

Let me just pause for a minute first to say that poverty is a moral challenge and secondly to wipe these entrails off my chin.  As all readers of the National Enquirer already know, and only a few of the most insane and socially outcast conspiracy theorizing vagrants have mused, I am a werewolf.  I know this comes as a surprise considering that I’ve denied being one so many times.  You may be familiar with my well publicized statements such as:
“You must be on drugs! Of course I’m not a shape shifting minion of the moon.”
and
“I’m about as much werewolf as I am directed by Big Oil Lobbyists. So let me put it plainly- I am not in the pocket of Oil, and my skeleton does not undergo drastic morphing under the influence of lunar phases.”

Well, maybe you’re not on drugs after all, but I’m still not influenced by Big Oil.  I know that my actions have hurt many who trusted me.  Believe me, I’ve seen the autopsy reports and I can pretty much guarantee that those who I devoured while a werewolf lost trust and faith in me in their last earthly moments and to them I am sorry.

You know the saying “once bitten twice shy” is only a saying. And a pretty stupid saying at that.  So if I have bitten you in the recent past, I implore you: don’t be shy.  After all, think about my side of the story. I’ve been under a lot of stress and the moon sometimes gets full folks. Sometimes it gets full. Are you going to point fingers at a middle aged guy with a wife that’s packed on some poundage and who has been infected by a werewolf’s bite?

Come on.  Forgive and forget.  Isn’t that what my buddy Barack has been talking about? Let’s let bygones be bygones.  Didn’t we learn our lessons already from Bill Clinton and Remus Lupin?  Didn’t we find a place in our hearts to forgive the lies of a cheating husband who is trying to garner the trust of an already jaded public?  Didn’t we realize that when Remus Lupin tried to attack Harry Potter that he wasn’t in his right mind?
So America, again I reiterate: I feel bad if my biting and clawing at your femoral arteries has caused either your death or your loss of trust in me but for the rest of you who have yet to succumb to my demonic strength and savage thirst for human livers-let’s sweep this whole thing under the rug.

After all, we’ve got to stand united and not be distracted from our common goals of re-taking the White  House, getting laid, and eating human livers.

Thank you. God bless America.  And don’t venture outside after night fall.

John Edwards

With the Bejing Olympics coming up this week, I think its high time to
say what everyone has been thinking:
Tibet must be allowed to be gluten free.

How long has there been wheat added to the soy sauce of a once
picturesque and placid country?
Is that really necessary? I understand that it thickens it a bit and is more
pleasing to the communist taste, but really: Can’t Tibet be free to decide for
itself between Tamari and Kikkoman?

Tibet had been historically a quiet, nonviolent self autonomous kingdom that
prided itself in producing fine foods without the use of wheat, malt, oats, nor barley.
You think its easy to meditate for eight hours at a time when your sprew is kicking
in overtime? Think again.

While the world will be watching China in the upcoming weeks and enjoying the world’d greatest athletic endeavors, some of us will be wondering if the next bowl of noodles Tibet eats will be made from barley flour ‘tsampa’ or rice.

The voice of the intestinally challenged will not be silenced.
Gluten Free Tibet

http://sweetpeasglutenfreekitchen.blogspot.com/2008/05/i-love-tibet.htmlhttp://www.flyingapron.net/home.htm
http://www.tibet.org/

If you love animals as much as I do (rabbits, caribou, finches), you’ve got to help me stop
“Livery Stables”.

My research has found the advertisement below written by their owner and as far as I can tell neither PETA nor Animal Solidarity have heard about this ghastly enterprise. Read below and decide for yourself!!

Dearest Loyal Customer/Animal Loving Patriot:

Our most recent foray into the often turbulent but lucrative animal warehousing market has been met with great success.
Our clientele has always expected the very best from our patented Animal Warehousing Technologies,
but Livery Stables has now raised the bar with our new “Program: Excellence” 

Our newest intiative, “Program: Excellence” is in short a miracle of modern Man.
First, we take our customers most beloved animals, pets, livestock, cattle, and/or seeing eye dogs and give them the everlasting empathy, spiritual connection, and non-judgemental love that they truly deserve. We then put them in a small, ammonia laced bleach bath in a wooden keg.
We then write down any feelings that we are sensing from our co-workers or the world-at-large and then place the creature in a cardboard lined slot in our newly spraypainted drywall.
We then give the animal a good washing with an ammonia mister that we have patented
ourselves called the “Mr. Myster”.
We then will test for breeding compatability with our other shelved pets.

Livery Stables is the Industry Leader.

We have a Corporate Motto which says: “Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum sonatur.”

Lemuel Osmond
Livery Stables

 
Please join MindFlowers in ending this barbaric venture.
Together, we can save a pet’s life.

BERKELEY, CA-Last week the Berkeley resident and longtime environmental activist known as Pinecone left her roost high in the Cal Oak Grove after nearly ten months of her arbor dwelling protest.
“When I left my mother womb [tree], I did not see it as defeat. I felt my earth song [protest] had fulfilled what I set out to do. It was the right time to come down.”

Pinecone was greeted with a smattering of applause from the gathered crowd of jobless vagrants who counted themselves her supporters. She was immediately biked to the Berkeley Bowl where she bought organic sunflower seeds.

Pinecone then shifted tactic slightly as she home invaded a Claremont residence and held the family’s attic as a geographic hostage or, as Pinecone calls it, “Initiated a love/symbiot sensuality expression of universal heart.”

The home’s residents, the Reinholdt family calls it “a stinky sqatter who’s squatting in our crawl space.”
One of Pinecone’s supporters who blogs under the name KucinichLuva wrote on the blog

www.LimbsOfLove.net, “This Attic Protest is the next logical step. Anyone can tell you residential single family structures are the equivalent of nature’s Professor Moriarti. By taking a stand against single family households in middle upper class America, Pinecone will save untold numbers of unnecessary toilet flushes.”
Pinecone added herself in a press release that was handed through a heating vent in the Reinholdt’s second floor ceiling, “Stop urinating in the toilet. Piss in the sink and then the next time you do your full body Dr. Bronner’s body wash with a natural sponge in your sink, you can wash down whatever urine is still there. P.S. Please send up vegetarian pizza, water, and cannabis.”

As of earlier this morning, the Reinholdts have still refused to allow Pinecone’s followers to give her food and water and Humbolt County Purple Daze.
“We invited her to come down and share some of our cassarole, but she’s vegan and told us we were fascists. And then she threw the contents of her bedpan at us.”

In response to Pinecone’s Attic Protest, Chevron executives have said they’ll consider shutting down. Said an anonymous Chevron boardmember, “In light of Pinecone’s suggestions, we think its just the right thing.”

Now that I have conquered three Tom Clancy novels and “The Life of Pi” (it’s confusing),
I can assure you that I know what’s best for you.

You got a question about gay marriage or abortion?
I’ll be able to reach deep into my 5th grade reading level to really
knock your fucking socks off with erudite insight and worldly wisdom.

You’re not sure how global economics work huh?
Let me tell you all about it.
You’ve got questions about what life’s meaning is?
Let me inform you.

My mom took an online class through a church once
and told me all about it, so I pretty much have a handle on what’s what.

Seriously, I know my shit. I’ve got a well-read issue of
“People” if you don’t believe me.
I just got done reading a synopsis of some book about evolution
on an advertisement display at my local Christian bookstore,
so if you want some knowledge thrown your way, lemme know.

C.S. Lewis is like totally my favorite philosopher and Tim LaHaye is my
favorite theologian.

I receive and sometimes read an email newletter about gay marriage that
uses bright colors and has ‘links’.

You best come correct if you wanna debate me sucka.

I wish people would begin to respect my education which would then allow me to
educate them which would in turn make us both equally fit to almost finish the
“US Weekly” crossword puzzle.

It’s lonely at the top of this ivory tower.
Ryan McGivern

Our daring MindFlowers reporter JJ spoke with former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan today.
Scott McClellan has recently released a book titled
“I Will Gladly Eat Poop Directly From Your Butthole For Money”.

JJ: Scott, thanks for speaking with us today.
Scott: I can’t answer any questions about the weather, sports, current events, or my favorite movies.
JJ: Well, okay. There goes my whole ‘Back To The Future or Ghostbusters’ line of questioning. Well, what can you talk about?
Scott: How about Arsenic?
JJ: Uh….
Scott: You see, Ms. Flufferbee’s Brand Arsenic is the nation’s BEST arsenic.
JJ: Best in which sense?
Scott: Taste. Color. Smoothness going down. Deliciousness.
JJ: It’s come to my attention just now that arsenic is poison.
Scott: Not true.
JJ: Actually, I just looked it up on Wikipedia, and it says….
Scott: Look. We’ve been through this before. There are ongoing investigations.
JJ: I just fed arsenic to a lab monkey and it died a horrible screeching death.
Scott: I know Ms. Flufferbee personally. I have asked her if her brand of Arsenic is poisonous. I trust everyword that comes from her dry, sore-spattered mouth. Without question.
JJ: Well, Helen Thomas just joined us to ask you a few questions.
Helen Thomas: Arsenic is poison.
Scott: No! Not true! Helen. Helen. No. That’s. That’s simply just…The world is a safer place with Saddam Hussein removed from power.
JJ and Helen Thomas: Huh?

(a letter is handed to Scott McClellan reading:
“Dear Press Puppet,
Sales are slumping! Stock price dropping! You’re fired!
signed, Your God and Master Ms. Flufferbee”)

Scott: …Arsenic is poison.

 

 

You can buy your copy of Scott McClellan’s new book from
www.please-tell-the-thousands-of-dead-Iraqis-I-made-an-oopsie.com

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puppet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lFUohKcZxw
http://www.owlnet.rice.edu/~rar4619/Images/Goebbels.jpg

 

In what should be a front page story on USA Today, 50+ redheads protested Wendy’s for their racist logo. Link

Protesters wore oogles of sunblock and signs like:
-”Biggie Size Bigotry!”
-”Value Menu Us!”
-”Fiery Burgers Not Fiery Redheads!”
-”Give Wendy Some Pigment!”
-”Where’s Our Beef? In Your Logo!”
-”We Want Frosties, But At What Costies?!?”

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